If it can't fit naturally into a mug, I don't eat it.
I instituted the rule in order to break the toasted bagel cycle.
I've fallen into the toasted bagel cycle quite easily in the past. You toast a bagel in the morning and then later on you get hungry and remember how great the toasted bagel was so you toast another. Same at dinner.
And wham! The cycle is started. Pretty soon you realize that all you've eaten in months is toasted bagels.
The problem is that toasted bagels are not only highly delicious, but they're pretty damn easy.
They're not as easy as cereal, of course, but they're still pretty damn easy.
The difference between toasted bagels and cereal is the extra walk to the kitchen. With the toasted bagel, you have to put the bagel in the oven (don't get me started on oven versus toaster) and then come back in for a bit more work after the toasting's done.
With cereal, it's one trip to the kitchen. Pour cereal, pour milk and you're done. Go directly to sofa.
Cereal's difficult, though, because of that whole milk negotiation thing. You have to figure out how much milk there is, how old the milk is, whether you'll need to save milk for other food activities...it's annoying.
Sometimes I have to stop and make sure I'm not one of those people who can't drink milk. You never know. Maybe you got sick the last hundred times you drank milk and you just didn't make the connection between milk and lactose intolerance. Who knows?
So anyway, the mug rule's in place.
Until a few days ago, the mug diet consistently solely of ice cream. Because ice cream's just the easiest food in the world.
And ice cream in a mug tastes so much more fantastic than ice cream from the carton. And MUCH MUCH better than ice cream in a bowl.
But you can only eat so much sugar. Especially cold sugar. Eventually you crave some warm, non-sugar carbs.
So now I've moved on to mashed potatoes.
And mashed potatoes in a mug? Just truly amazing.
What's more amazing is that I now understand how to make mashed potatoes. And I just feel so very accomplished and powerful and capable.
The first time I made the mashed potatoes, I faced a few challenges.
One of the challenges was purely a lack of intelligence. The second was lack of experience...and intelligence.
But, in my defense, the pictures on the mashed potato box didn't clearly indicate how all the steps should be accomplished. Yes, there was a drawing of a measuring cup. But I get that whole measuring/pouring dynamic. I don't need help with that.
My problem related to the lack of photo guidance as to how margarine gets from the little tiny measuring spoon into the pan.
Scooping up the margarine from the margarine tub into the little tiny measuring spoon is easy. And it's actually kinda fun. Kinda third grade.
But how do you transition the margarine from the little tiny measuring spoon into the pan?
I tried a few things. But all I know is that in the end there was an extra half tablespoon of margarine on my finger for every half tablespoon I managed to get into the pan.
What a waste. And what a minor slippery mess.
But I got the necessary amount in.
And shortly thereafter I learned what 'stir in' really means.
I'll begin by telling you what 'stir in' doesn't really mean.
'Stir in' doesn't really mean dump the entire contents of the bag of mashed potato stuff in the boiling mixture of water and milk and margarine.
'Stir in' doesn't really mean end up with a huge mass of mashed potato stuff that just won't dissolve and turn into food because the boiling liquidy mixture of water and milk and margarine got overwhelmed when you dumped the dry stuff on top.
Apparently, what 'stir in' entails is a slow process whereby you trickle the contents of the bag into the pan into the boiling liquidy mixture while stirring. And apparently it's quite effective for balancing the merging of the dry and wet.
Anyway, I've learned it now. I've learned 'stirring in' and I do it well. I still don't know how you get the margarine into the pan without needlessly submitting the lives of other innocent margarines to the garbage disposal, but I guess that'll come with experience.
So I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking that I'm not only a domestic dork, but I'm also lame for using mashed potato mix from a box.
Yeah, I know. I hear ya.
And I did think about actually mashing up some real potatoes, using real actual potatoes. But I looked up mashed potato recipes today and all of the recipes assume you know the various parts of the cooking activity.
"Cook the potatoes. Peel the cooked potatoes and place in a pan. Blah blah blah."
I'm sure I'd eventually figure it all out. But to be quite honest, I'm too tired to research how to actually cook the potato and how to actually peel the potato. I'd have to figure out how long it takes and what temperature you need and how to know when the potato is cooked and god knows what else related to the preparation of the potato.
The thing is, I always find out these really annoying requirements after the deed.
Like you have to marinate the potatoes in lemon juice for three days at room temperature before cooking.
I hate those post-deed discoveries.
I'm just too tired.
But in the interest of expanding the menu at Chez Boo, I have indeed planned the next Mug Menu addition. Beginning next weekend, Chez Boo will feature a homemade cinnamon applesauce delicacy.
Yum. Nothing like cinnamon applesauce in a mug.
So today I bought the applesauce. And the cinnamon.
Luckily, there's no margarine component. And no marination.
So now I just have to practice the sprinkling part. I hear sprinkling requires a lighter touch than stirring in.
And then I'll have to figure out that pinch thing.
Because the one thing I definitely know is that pinching without leaving a mark is an acquired skill.