Sometimes, in your running career, you need to take a break. Maybe your body's been complaining. Maybe you're injured. Or maybe you just feel an injury coming on. Overuse is a common culprit. An overuse injury is defined as damage resulting from repetitive demands, rather than from a single traumatic event or disease. And overuse is common among runners.
So sometimes you just need a break. Or, more precisely, sometimes your body just needs a break.
So you take a break.
The difficult thing about taking a break from running is that a few days or weeks off makes you feel fine. In the absence of running, the pain and physical problems usually cease. You see people running and you think "I can do that." Your body feels like running and you don't quite remember the pain you previously felt while running. You feel okay.
And so you go back out there.
But sometimes you go back out there a little too early.
Sometimes, you go out there and think you'll be fine. But you realize, after a few crappy miles, that the pain's still there and the running's still not good. And that you don't feel good running.
I've actually been quite lucky as a runner. I've spent the bulk of my running career free of injury. When I take a break from running, it's usually because of schedule issues or other disruptions in my life....like dehydration or a sale at Target or a Sex and the City marathon that keeps me up late.
Yeah, I've been lucky in running.
But, sure enough, I got injured in dating.
It wasn't injury from a traumatic event or disease, thank goodness. It was definitely just your basic overuse injury.
And so I did the smart thing. I took a break.
And the usual happened.
I felt fine. In the absence of dating, the pain ceased. I forgot how uncomfortable the dating life is: rejecting, being rejected, staying up too late, worrying about when you shaved last and generally spending time and energy on people you'll never see again. Sucky. Sucky. Sucky.
I just forgot about the pain.
I'd see other people dating and think "I can do that." My body - untouched by human hands besides my own - felt like dating and I felt like I was ready to give it a go.
So I gave it a go. Again.
And it's going to get ugly if I don't go back to being on a break. I'm going to get injured for good. Or, even worse, I'm going to injure somebody else.
I'm just dangerous right now when it comes to dating. And it's me. I know it's me. I keep telling people it's me. I'm not denying that at all.
It's not the guys. The guys are very nice.
And it's not the dates. The dates are fine. Coffee, food, decent location. Sometimes there's even music.
It's completely and totally me.
Me and a brain filled with the collective wisdom of Lifetime Television for Women and Dr. Laura.
I'm on a date, talking to the guy, and - all of a sudden - it's like I'm watching the date. On television. On the movie of the week. And I'm the powerless - yet tall and beautiful - victim who's about to get kidnapped or drugged or cheated on or worse.
The first time it happened, I was on the date. Nice guy. Nice restaurant. Nice sky. Nice night.
And apparently his several ex-wives were nice too.
Damn! How could I have forgotten to ask that in the pre-date screening?
"Do you like raw fish? And do you mind eating early? I have to run in the morning. And if we engage in sexual relations, is it okay if we leave the lights on? And do you or do you not enjoy kissing with your eyes open? Oh, and one last thing...is the number of ex-wives in your life greater than the number of toes on your left foot?
How could I have forgotten to ask that question??
I'm guessing it's because I've historically dated younger men. Younger men just don't seem to amass the number of ex-wives that older guys do.
And then, of course, there's the alcohol.
The first time a date told me he didn't drink, I got really scared.
He was older than me by a few years and I just assumed he was taking heart medication and wasn't allowed to drink. As he proceeded to discuss his favorite movies, I reviewed basic CPR in my head. Damn again! Why didn't I take that optional automated external defibrillator training when I had the chance?
After a while, it occurred to me that the non-drinking guy might not have a heart condition after all.
Major whew!
His decision not to drink may just have been his basic restraint following twenty or thirty years of active and destructive alcoholism. Whew. I felt much better.
I guess younger guys don't tend to have a position on drinking. They do drink. Or they don't drink. But it's generally not so much of a position they actively take as it is a lifestyle they've either adopted or fallen into.
So anyway, I made a decision. No more non-drinkers. I would only date a guy who would have a drink with me.
"Do you enjoy the beach? And do you mind if I watch The Man Show?? Oh, and one last question, if we go drinking for our first date would you be willing to participate in the drinking of actual alcohol?
This time, I remembered to ask the question.
But, of course, I didn't ask that critical follow up question: "And, if you're willing to participate in the drinking of actual alcohol, exactly how much alcohol might that be?"
I definitely got a guy who was happy to have a drink with me. I just got the feeling that he'd had a few before drinking with me. And then he had a few more after I had finished mine.
Uh oh. As he proceeded to discuss the movies he'd watched while plastered, I made a mental list of lawyers I could call when we got pulled over on the drive home.
I guess in my current injured state, I tend to see everything involved with the date as the "set up."
Not set up as in blind date, but set up as in the laying out or developing of the characters and plot in anticipation of a climax and resolution. Set up as in dramatic play or story. Climax as in moment of ultimate emotional and situational explosion. Resolution as in how it ends. Or doesn't end.
Yes, in my injured state, every date is a story just waiting to be made into a movie. I won't even take a stab at the genre.
All I know is that it's universally advised that the activity be stopped at the first sign of pain in order to treat an overuse injury and avoid additional injury.
So it's official. I'm back on break.
Cause if I don't go back to being on break, I'm confident you'll soon see Susan Lucci playing me on Lifetime.
"She was just looking for some sushi, a glass of wine and conversation that wasn't too dull. He was looking for his next wife.
She couldn't see past her attraction to his wit, charm and his adorable way of tripping over steps. He couldn't see past his beer mug.
All she wanted was to be a real mother to his ten children and to provide him the love and support that five wives hadn't been able to. All he wanted was her signature on a huge life insurance policy and her willingness to accept his several name changes without annoying questions or suspicion.
All she wanted was love. All he wanted was...
Sushi, Sex and Betrayal
Sushi, Sex and Betrayal - The new Lifetime movie starring Susan Lucci as bettebloo, and the "bad" Baldwin Brother as Jack Taylor (aka Benji Blum) (aka William Christopher O'Donnell) (aka Peter Murphy) (aka Tony "bella bella" LaPaglioso). With Heather Locklear as the ex. And Kate Jackson as the other ex. And Lindsey Wagner as the ex before that. And "Jo" from Facts of Life as the ex who isn't really officially an ex and may or may not have ever been legally married to the guy. Also starring Shakira as the daughter/hooker/mistress. And, making a special guest appearance, William Shatner as the prison warden.