Because I thought he was kind of cool. And I was interested in his work. And I appreciated that he had a New York sensibility without a New York accent.
I thought he was kind of funny and nice and probably smart enough to shut me up when I debate the inane details of useless facts.
But then he asked where I was from. And I said Baltimore. And he got all excited.
"I just bought a house in Baltimore!"
I walked away.
Actually, I didn't walk away.
But I should have.
I should have just paused and smiled and said "Okay, well, I guess I'll be going now...bye..." and left. I should have pulled an Office Space.
"Okay, I don't really see much reason to be here anymore so I think I'll go."
Because Baltimore's a dealbreaker.
The funny thing about looking for love is that you think you know what your dealbreakers are. You think you know until a new situation arises that renders additions to the dealbreaker list necessary.
My list used to be fairly short. I couldn't date someone who liked shopping. Or who hated his profession. Or who was ridiculously out of shape.
And I couldn't date someone who was still married. Or still believing in a religion without knowing why he believed in it.
The list was relatively short.
Serious, no doubt, but short.
But then the list got longer.
He couldn't smoke pot. Or do drugs. Or allow the boyfriend of his teenage daughter to live at their house and sleep in her room.
Again, these dealbreakers weren't on my original dealbreaker list. Not because they weren't dealbreakers, but because they just weren't on my radar. Pot and drugs and the encouragement of stupid teen sex were just not on my radar.
But now the list anticipates these things.
It's kind of like how stupid laws get written.
Some idiot does some idiotic thing that is so truly violative of common sense that it garners substantial public attention. Then some other idiot with too much time on his or her hands campaigns some idiot legislator to make a law forbidding the violation.
The problem is that the violation is usually SO obvious that to have an actual law forbidding the action seems unnecessary.
But I suppose that unnecessary is a major component of the legal concept.
So now, for instance, there are laws that you shouldn't leave your kid in a car in a parking lot with the keys in the ignition and the engine running while you go into the store.
What a stupid law! It's so clearly incomplete!
It should be illegal to leave your kid in a car in a parking lot with the keys in the ignition and the engine running and your wallet left open on the seat displaying a huge wad of cash.
Now THERE'S a law.
So here's my new dating law.
It is a violation of the laws of dating me to ask me out if you JUST MOVED TO BALTIMORE.
And no. There is no exception if you WORK in DC.
And no. There is no exception if you have friends in DC.
And no! No! No! There is no exception if you "can stay in DC anytime you want."
Because Number One, I'm a daily girl.
In fact, I told him I was a daily girl. I told him I like to see my guy daily. I told him I like to hang out. I told him I like to be. Call me crazy, but I like the being together in person portion of a relationship.
He countered "I'm in DC everyday."
Okay, let me rephrase...I'm a nightly girl. I like the being together AT NIGHT portion of a relationship. Cause I have a job. And I prefer to date a guy with a job. And generally, those damn jobs get in the way of hanging out during the day."
And because of Number Two. Which is kind of a big one, if you can read Whopping Number Two without giggling like a four-year old.
Okay, Number Two: I'm not hanging out in Baltimore.
I'm not visiting you in Baltimore or picking you up in Baltimore or dropping you off in Baltimore or spending the weekend in Baltimore. And god knows I'm not moving to Baltimore.
The thing is, I came from Baltimore. Been there, done that. And once was enough. Since once felt like forever.
He said I shouldn't rule out someone good just because they live thirty six miles away.
I begged to differ.
Cause I've done thirty six. And Baltimore's no thirty six.
I've done Leesburg and Manassas and Springfield and Frederick. I've even done West Virginia.
For god's sake, I thought about doing Williamsburg.
But not all thirty sixes are equal.
As they say, "You can do Leesburg, Manassas, Springfield, Frederick and Williamsburg, but you can't go home."
I think those are the same people who say "If you wouldn't leave a sack of dough sitting open in the front seat of your car while you run into McDonald's, don't leave your kid."